As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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