I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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