ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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