Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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