haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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