I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
