I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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