We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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