no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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