Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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