Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
