I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Damn victory sex feels great
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
