It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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