Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
