I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
