I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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