have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
