3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
