If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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