two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
