im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
