whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
