I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
