in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
We left an ass print on the piano.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
