So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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