Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
