Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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