i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
