no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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