took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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