No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Liz is crying about burritos again.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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