I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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