You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
