i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You've changed since you got that strap on
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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