What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
