'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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