i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
