and my herpes radar will keep us safe
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
