If that was your dad, he is hot
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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