my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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