Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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