My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
