Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
