Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
