Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
