she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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