did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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