yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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