Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Well I just put wine in my tea
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
