i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
