my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
