Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
