K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
